Reflecting on 5 in 5

Think I was meant to have done this previously, but I didn’t realise, so now I need to listen my talk and the comments again on mylo.

5 in 5

Sounded more similar that I realised. Much more focussed now.

Engendering maternal failure and research. Patriarchy. Toby asked this and I knocked it. Research – eric revello

quilt collaborative – collecting or using affective archival material, asked about Tal Fitzpatrick – other people’s stories.

Nicole oLoughlin – Never followed up on this.

When I listened to this discussion again recently, I realised that my new proposal has changed quite a lot in regard to techniques, and content is much more focused, but the underlying idea of how my work might function has remained the fairly constant.

I was very nervous doing this presentation, as I am with all public speaking, but the communication channel of zoom does relax me somewhat. I have to read from a script or I get altogether too anxious, but I can see that I am trying to relax away from the script at times, and at the time I was reasonably pleased with how it went.

In terms of feedback, Toby’s initial query about the patriarchal approach to parenting failure, has probably had the most effect. At that stage I was planning to include a wide range of emotive subject matter from my life as content in my work. I have since narrowed my subject matter to one area only, the feeling of motherhood failure that I experience in the context of my mentally unwell adult son. However I have not addressed this from a feminist perspective. As I mentioned in answer to Toby’s question, I have taken the blame for parenting failures onboard, without questioning the paternal role. The subject of my work has narrowed to personal feeling around this perceived motherhood failure and the approach to addressing these feelings now, rather than looking closely at the origin of this feeling in gender roles and society. This may, however, need to be addressed in my final writing.

Other discussion was around the collaborative nature of quilting and how this may be incorporated. Now, as then, I do not consider the making aspect of my work a collaboration, but I do hope that there will be a collaboration of sorts with the viewer. A kind of secret club. I do plan to repurpose scraps of my own material from the making of quilts gone by, and in this way may be considered to be collaborating with my own personal memory or past. Tal Fitzpatrick’s covid quilt was mentioned as an example of bringing others stories together. I have looked at this, but my intent is to confine myself to my particular story and hope to call up recognition in the viewer, rather than presenting the stories of others. It was suggested that I follow up with Nicole O’Loughlin at UTAS. I looked at her website, but my shyness has meant that I have not yet approached her directly. I like to think I will do that but have been putting it off.

In conclusion, I think that the presentation was a good way of clarifying my thinking at the time, and reflecting on it now I see that it has helped me focus my ideas around subject, as well as broaden my scope for research.

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