Just saw a writing about an artists work which mentioned solidarity – solidarity with others in similar circumstances. Thought this might be a good word for me. And wanted to get it down so I didn’t forget.

Other words I’ve been thinking about:









Still don’t have a word for the feeling of not being alone in your problems. Maybe solidarity is close to this.

Trying to work out a quilt pattern to go with the text never happy again. I’m remembering a time when a psychologist asked me what I was afraid of in regard to Daniel I guess and that was my answer. That I would never be able to be happy again because he would always reject me and my self esteem and happiness was so tightly bound to him. In that same session he asked me to think back to a time when I was really sad about Dan. And at that time I thought of being in a room in Canberra and Dan refused to see me so I went all the way to Canberra and didn’t see him at all. I was thinking of using a photo of a hotel room with a suitcase and a single towel, but looking at the pattern I was developing above I started thinking about a repetitive symbolic photogram. Trying to increase the depth of tone in the photo image to match the tone in commercial fabric and make the whole thing a bit more lush, rich, both comfortable and painful and more immediate and tactile. The current solarfast photos look pretty muted and distant and don’t speak to the comfort side that I am also going for. I’m moving back to red brown shades and if I either dyed fabric first or after or if I used two layers of solarfast and a photogram, I might be able to get a richer colour. Photograms from direct objects are good because they are much more high contrast and I can expose for long periods and get richer colour around the photogram.

Will have to investigate meaning embedded in objects and symbolism of objects.

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